I love my wife. My wife is dead.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Ne qershor te vitit 1945, Arline Feynman, e dashura qe ne kohen e gjimnazit e me pas gruaja e fizikantit te njohur Richard Feynman vdiq si pasoje e tuberkulozit. Ajo ishte vetem 25 vjec. 16 muaj me vone, ne Tetor 1946, Richard i shkroi nje leter dashurie dhe e mbylli ne nje zarf te cilin natyrisht qe nuk e dergoi kurre. Mbeti e palexuar deri diten kur ai vdiq me 1988.

October 17, 1946

D’Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.

Burimi: www.lettersofnote.com

5 Comments

  1. Z.Genti

    Duhet patjeter nji buton share!
    Ne iphone ka nji problem te vogel.

    • Gjergji Kalaja (Author)

      Butoni share do te vendoset se shpejti! Faleminderit per sugjerimin.

  2. Gjergji Kalaja (Author)

    Butoni share u aktivizua. Faleminderit per sugjerimin dhe viziten.

  3. I apologize but I don’t agree with this at all it’s bunk!

    • Gjergji Kalaja (Author)

      Why? I think it is one of the best love letters I have ever read.

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